Leading a Double Life and Exploring Integration

Because of the stigmatization in our culture of many sexual, and in particular BDSM practices, many people feel compelled to create a second identity, a different name or persona, behind which they can hide or compartmentalize this aspect of their lives. While for familial or professional reasons this solution may seem to be an absolute necessity, it can also lead to painful compromises and inevitable deceptions. It is inevitably also a form of capitulation, which leaves society’s stigmatization of certain practices uncontested. 

In this workshop, we will explore possibilities of integration of the different aspects of our lives: sexual, professional, familial. We will also look at the advantages and the costs of so doing. There will be no requirement to share private information. We will not propose solutions, but the space to think together about this.

Workshop led by Peter Banki, Ph.D. In 2011 Peter chose publicly to 'out' himself by lending his name as the head producer of the Xplore festival in Sydney. Later that year he made a segment with the ABC, which disclosed his interest in plush animals. Both decisions were significant. He does not regret them, but in all likelihood there will have been a cost to his professional career as an academic. Nonetheless, despite this cost, he believes that we are happier and more creative when we allow ourselves to make linkages between different parts of our lives, however incompatible and incomprehensible they may seem to others.

Natalia Je has been involved with Schwelle Sydney and Really Good Sex since 2011, as a Committee member, facilitator, administrator, volunteer coordinator, devil's advocate and creative mastermind behind some of the wicked concepts that we have unleashed. She is also a human services professional and postgrad student. Her chosen approach to living a double life and integration has been one of 'inviting (people) in' rather than 'coming out'. She is dreaming that one day full integration of her diverse identities/subjectivities/persona will be possible. 

WHO IS THE WORKSHOP FOR: Anyone who currently finds themselves living a double life in relation to their sexuality or kink. The workshop is also useful for anyone who wishes to explore the issue.

WILL THERE BE PAIR-WORK AND GROUP WORK? Yes.

COMMITMENT: You may sit out of any activity, or participate only to a level that’s right for you.

RATIO OF DISCUSSION TO EXPERIENTIAL: About 70/30 percent.

BRING: A water bottle is advisable. Tea, coffee and afternoon snacks will be provided.

WEAR: For most activities loose fitting comfortable clothes are appropriate.

Contact: info@reallygoodsex.net.

Low income options available on request

Private consultations on this topic also available on request.