Comedian Jasmine Fairbairn:

If you are a mom* or are married to a mom* or have a mom* you will probably want to hear me complaining about being a mom*. You know those things you say in your inside voice? Well I say them in my outside voice. You are a better mom* than I am. Let me prove it to you!

*I am aware that I'm in Australia and you say mum. But it's my show so I'm spelling it the way I want. So there. I'm sorry. Please come.