Delivering Feedback and Criticism Training

Nobody Talks About This Part of Feedback Training

Feedback training. You know what that is, right?

Those workshops where someone teaches you how to tell Bob from accounting that his reports are confusing without making him cry. Or how to take criticism without wanting to hide under your desk for three days.

Thing is, most feedback training misses the point completely.

The Real Problem Nobody Mentions

I was in a meeting last week and watched Sarah, our team lead, try to give "constructive feedback" to James. She used all the right phrases — "I noticed that..." and "What I'm seeing is..." — but James still looked like he'd been punched in the stomach.

Why? Because feedback isn't really about the words you use.

It's about the fact that most of us are terrified of having these conversations in the first place. And when we're scared, we either say nothing (unhelpful) or we word-vomit everything at once (also unhelpful).

Your workplace probably needs better feedback conversations. Mine definitely does, though I'm probably the worst at giving it in my own team if I'm being honest. But here's what actually works.

What Actually Happens in Good Feedback Training

Let me tell you what we've learned from running these sessions with teams across Australia. It's not what you'd expect.

Understanding What Feedback Really Is Before you can give it, you need to know what it actually is. Feedback isn't criticism wearing a nice hat. It's not a performance review in disguise. It's information that helps someone do their job better. That's it.

Most people think feedback = negative. Wrong. Feedback is just data. "Your presentation helped me understand the budget issues" is feedback. So is "I got lost during the technical section."

Actually, that's a lie. Most people do think feedback is negative because most feedback they've received has been negative. When was the last time someone gave you feedback just to tell you something was working well?

Speaking Without Making People Defensive This is where most training gets it wrong. They teach you scripts. But conversations aren't scripts, they're... well, conversations.

What works: being specific about what you saw or heard, not what you think about the person. "When you interrupted me three times in that meeting" vs "You're really rude." One gives someone something to work with. The other just makes them want to argue.

The Six Things That Make Feedback Actually Useful We teach a simple framework, but honestly? Most people forget the framework and remember the principle: make it about the work, not the person.

• Be specific (not "communicate better" but "send updates by Thursday")
• Be timely (not six months later during review season)
• Be focused on behaviour they can change
• Ask questions, don't just tell
• Check if they understand what you're saying
• Follow up later to see how it's going

Getting Better at Receiving Feedback This is the bit everyone skips in training, but it's probably more important than giving it.

When someone gives you feedback, your brain wants to defend itself. That's normal. The trick is knowing that your first reaction isn't your only reaction. Listen first, ask questions, then decide what to do with the information.

I still struggle with this one. Last month my manager told me my emails were "a bit long" and I immediately wanted to explain why they needed to be long. But actually... they were pretty long. Still are, to be honest.

Practice That Doesn't Feel Fake Most feedback training involves role-playing scenarios that feel nothing like your actual workplace. We use real situations from your team. Anonymous ones, obviously.

Because practicing "how to tell someone their TPS reports need covers" isn't helpful when your real problem is "how to tell Mark that his jokes make people uncomfortable."

Which reminds me, we should probably talk about Mark at some point. Different training entirely.

Who This Training Actually Helps

Anyone who has to work with other humans, basically.

Team leaders who avoid difficult conversations until they become bigger problems. HR people who get called in when feedback conversations go wrong. Anyone who's ever received feedback that made them feel worse instead of better.

But honestly? The people who get the most out of this are the ones who know they're not great at it. The ones who say "I just tell people what I think" or "I don't like conflict so I usually say nothing."

The Awkward Truth About Feedback Training

Here's what we don't put in the marketing materials: most people leave feedback training and still struggle with it for weeks.

Because knowing how to give feedback and actually doing it are different things. Like knowing how to ride a bike vs getting on one.

The training gives you tools. Using them consistently takes practice. And most workplaces don't create space for that practice.

So we build in follow-up sessions. Check-ins. Real talk about what's working and what isn't.

Because the goal isn't to tick a training box. It's to make your workplace somewhere people can actually grow and get better without walking on eggshells all the time.

What Happens Next

If you're thinking about feedback training for your team, start with this question: what conversations are you currently avoiding?

That's probably where you need to start.

We run this training across Australia - in person, online, or however works for your team. Because every workplace has different dynamics, different problems, different personalities who need to learn to talk to each other.

Want to stop avoiding those conversations?

Get in touch and we'll work out what kind of feedback training actually makes sense for your team. Not the generic version, the one that fits your actual problems.